Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I am naked and annoyed.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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