tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
