I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
