I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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