DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
