singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
