? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
