i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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