If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
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