she told me i tasted like america
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
