wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
