I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
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