Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Randomize
