We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Randomize
