based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Randomize
