How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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