I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
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