dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
It's blow job season.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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