Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
