i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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