Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
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