Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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