then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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