doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
My breasts were aching with rage.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Randomize
