i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
we're so committed to being not committed
Randomize
