What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Just fell off a train. Bad.
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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