around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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