My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
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