i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
