Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you