I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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