i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
