Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
