Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
