There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize