I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
