is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
