Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Randomize