also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
