at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
