Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
