I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize