i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
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