Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
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