i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
