She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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