just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
