I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
She's not a foreskin expert like you
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Randomize
