this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
