It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
