I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize