I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
