Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
