Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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