Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
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