was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
