you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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