i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
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