Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Randomize
