An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
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she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
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Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.