I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
23 Bosses Confess The Craziest Thing They’ve Seen An Employee Do
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
19 People Confess What It’s Like To Have Sex With Someone That Is Transitioning
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it