Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
party gras won. party gras always wins.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
